Robbie reviews JUNK! @The Espy

[You]
9:05pm
ROBBIE!

[Robert Kane]
9:14pm
HI C H R I S T L L A

[You]
9:15pm
so review??

[Robert Kane]
9:15pm
OK

[You]
9:15pm
so on saturday night where did we go?

[Robert Kane]
9:19pm
IT W O S A W S O M E ON SATURDAY NIGHT

[You]
9:19pm
which pub did we go to?

[Robert Kane]
9:20pm
E S P E

[You]
9:20pm
YEAH!
and what was your favourite part of the night?

[Robert Kane]
9:22pm
GIRLS ARMS CAVE MAN

[You]
9:22pm
Glen?
and Pete?
what about the sexy dancers?

[Robert Kane]
9:28pm
YOU AND J A C K E

[You]
9:28pm
and how were we?

[Robert Kane]
9:30pm
YOU WERE A W S O M E

[You]
9:31pm
it was a good crowd wasn't it?

[Robert Kane]
9:36pm
IT W O S A W S O M E CROWD

[You]
9:36pm
and how did you think Glen played?

[Robert Kane]
9:39pm
G L E N N E W O S A W S O M E

[You]
9:39pm
what's your favourite song?

[Robert Kane]
9:42pm
O O O O A A A A M O N K E Y

[You]
9:42pm
but he didn't play that one?

[Robert Kane]
9:45pm
W I C H ONE IS IT

[You]
9:45pm
the monkey man?

[Robert Kane]
9:49pm
MONKEY MAN OF D E L H I

[You]
9:49pm
Yeah!
He didn't play it, but should have

[Robert Kane]
9:50pm
I NO THAT HE S O U L D PLAY IT

[You]
9:51pm
stupid glen

[Robert Kane]
9:53pm
GLEN IS A D O F S

[You]
9:53pm
Anything else you want to say about the show?
what about the other bands?

[Robert Kane]
9:56pm
BACK BACK FORWARD PUNCH
THEY W O S A W S O M E

[You]
9:58pm
better than JUNK!?

[Robert Kane]
10:00pm
THEY ARE JUST LIKE JUNK

[You]
10:03pm
next time I'll get you a press pass so you can stand at the front

DON AND DON

Where has Robbie been? Why hasn't he reviewed any movies lately? For the first time in months, Robbie tells all.

[You]
5:11pm
Robbie!

[Robert Kane]
5:12pm
HI CHRISTELLE

[You]
5:12pm
so review time?

[Robert Kane]
5:13pm
OK WOT DO YOU WOT TO TALK A BOUT

[You]
5:13pm
Do you want to tell me about your course?
Is it a fork lift course?

[Robert Kane]
5:18pm
THE COURSE IT IS GOING OK IT IS LOTS OF WORK TO DO

[You]
5:18pm
do you have homework?

[Robert Kane]
5:19pm
YES I DO GOT LOTS OF HOME WORK

[You]
5:19pm
but do you have a fork lift at home to practice on?

[Robert Kane]
5:20pm
UM NO I DOT
UM NO I DOT

[You]
5:20pm
what is your favourite part of the course?

[Robert Kane]
5:22pm
IT SO HARD TO DO

[You]
5:22pm
why is it hard?
would I be good at it?

[Robert Kane]
5:37pm
YOU NEED TO PAY THE COURSE DO IT

[You]
5:38pm
so when do you finish?

[Robert Kane]
5:39pm
I FINISH THIS FRIDAY

[You]
5:40pm
and then what?

[Robert Kane]
5:40pm
I DOT NO YERT

[You]
5:41pm
what kind of machine will you be able to drive?

[Robert Kane]
5:47pm
I WELL DRIVE A STOCK PIKER

[You]
5:47pm
so, moving along have you seen any good movies lately?

[Robert Kane]
5:51pm
YES I HAVE SEE A GOOD MOVE

[You]
5:51pm
which one?
[Robert Kane]

5:54pm
THE N O B L A C T T V E R E

[You]
5:54pm
what was that about?

[Robert Kane]
6:03pm
IT W O S A BOUT TWO S I S E T E R S W E N THERE T A L K E I N G

[You]
6:04pm
was it a scary movie or funny?

[Robert Kane]
6:04pm
IT W O S FUNNY

[You]
6:05pm
what else happened in it?

[Robert Kane]
6:06pm
YES IT W O S A H A P P Y E N D
I T H I K I N G WE S O U L D DO THIS A G L E N G I G

[You]
6:08pm
of course! the next one at Pony?

[Robert Kane]
6:09pm
OK IT DON AND DON

[You]
6:09pm
he better let you on stage to do the monkey noises

[Robert Kane]
6:13pm
YES HE S O U L D LET ME UP THERE ON THE STAGE

[You]
6:14pm
and will you be better than glen?

[Robert Kane]
6:15pm
YES I WILL BE BETTER THEN GLEN

[You]
6:15pm
rock star!

[Robert Kane]
6:17pm
YES I AM A ROCK STAR

Prince of Persia

Robbie's enthusiasm for boobies, violence and film adaptations of video game franchises is only matched by his excitement for Evan's birthday party.

Me
Robblie!!!!

4:05pmRobert
HELLO C H I K I N G BUM

4:05pmMe
how are you butther chicken bum bob?

butther = butter

4:09pmRobert
WE ARE GOING TO DO A REV ON THE MOVE WE SEE

4:10pmRobert
PRICE OF PR

4:11pmMe
yes please!

4:12pmRobert
THE MOVE W O S A W S O M E

4:13pmMe
for the people that havent seen it yet, can you please tell us what happened?

4:17pmRobert
THERE W O S LOTS OF GUNS AND HOUSE

4:18pmMe
guns? are you sure?
you mean swords?

4:20pmMe
what was your favourite part?

4:25pmRobert
WEN T H E R E START FITING

4:26pmMe
hey, i have to run to the shops quickly. are you still gonna be online when i get back?
or do you wanna finish the review with Christelle?

4:26pmRobert
YOU

4:27pmMe
ok, i will be back in about 30 minutes, or we can continue at another time

4:28pmRobert
NEXT TIME OK

4:28pmMe
ok, dont forget where we were up to

6:23pmMe
robbie!

6:23pmRobert
YES BEVAN

6:24pmMe
ok so you loved the fight scenes from the movie?

6:26pmRobert
THE MOVE W O S A W S O M E

6:27pmMe
do you think the chick was the most beautiful girl in the world, as claimed in the movie?

6:30pmRobert
SHE W O S HOT VERY HOT

6:31pmMe
i liked the shot of the sand necklass in her boobs

6:34pmRobert
I LIKE THEME

10:54pmMe
Robbie!

10:55pmRobert
YES G H I K I N G BUM

10:56pmMe
was there anything else you liked about the movie?

10:59pmRobert
IT W O S GRANT IT GOT A LOTS OF KILLING AND K I L L I N G
AND KIT SOME ASS TOO

11:01pmMe
i reckon we need to learn how to jump around buildings like he did

11:02pmRobert
YOU WISH C H I K I N G BUM

11:05pmMe
what about the time travelling knife? i have one. do you want to borrow it?

11:06pmRobert
THAT WILL BE A W S O M E

11:06pmMe
kk i gotta use it tomorrow night but u can have it friday

11:09pmRobert
I CAN NOT WAT TO SATURDAY NIGHT

11:10pmRobert is offline.

OK DEN AND DEN- Hot Tub Time Machine and a Wedding

So, Robbie went to a wedding on the weekend and spent a lot of the time telling Christelle and Evan about all the things he wants to review. He is turning into a major entertainment critic, casting his eye over everything from movies that haven't even been made yet to bridesmaids. One thing that he is particularly keen on analysing in the future is Lamb and Rice. If you know of any great places for Robbie to sample Lamb and Rice, please let us know so we can continue to provide you with thrilling, culturally relevant reviews.

Also- in case you are not aware, Robbie has small Robbies in his brain that file away important memories and information. This is how he keeps track of his reviewing material.


Me

roberto!

8:23pmRobert

HI CHRISTELLE

8:24pmMe

sooo... that was a good wedding wasn't it?

8:24pmRobert

IT WOS GOOD

8:24pmMe

what was your favourite part?

8:28pmRobert

LIKE WEN THERE SAYING TABL 4 5 6 THAT WOS FUNNY

8:29pmMe

Oh when they called the tables up to eat?

They picked on our table 15 didn't they? Made us wait every time!

Why?

8:33pmRobert

YOU SAYING WHY BECOS IT WOS GILRS AMYS HE THAT ONE CALLING OUT BLAM HEM

8:33pmMe

yes, glen is to blame for most bad things that happen

you did some good dancing

8:35pmRobert

IT WOS OK

8:35pmMe

you don't think you're a good dancer?

8:38pmRobert

I NEEVER DANCER BE FOR

8:38pmMe

liar robbie.

i've seen you dancing, i've danced with you!

slooooow dancing

now remember last night you told me you really wanted to review something?

8:43pmRobert

YOU MEEN HOT TUB TIME MACHEING THAT WOS AWSOME IT WOS SO FUNNY THAT I NEELING FALL OUT OF THE CHAER

8:44pmMe

do you think your friends are like those guys?

8:45pmRobert

MOBYE

8:46pmMe

maybe you can explain to everyone what the movie is about

8:51pmRobert

IT IS ABOUT THEE GUYS AND BOY THERE ARE GO TO THE HOTEL FOR

8:56pmRobert

THERE HOILRDAY THERY SEE A SPARER AND THERY HOP IN TO IT THEN THEAY GO BACK TO THE 80

9:00pmMe

and they meet some cute girls

9:03pmRobert

YES THEAY DID

9:04pmRobert

I CAN NOT WAT TO IT COMES OUT ON DVD

9:04pmMe

we should get a hot tub and watch it

9:06pmRobert

THAT WILL BE AWSOME

9:06pmMe

okay robbie i have to go to bed. we'll do more reviewing tomorrow

tell the little people in your head

9:07pmRobert

OK DEN AND DEN

GOOD NIGHT CHRISTELLE

Luke and Wyatt and a Wardrobe Crisis

This post is short but it highlights a few things that Robbie likes:

1. Being personally acquainted with famous comedians.

2. Interrupting famous comedians when they're on stage.

3. Songs about potatoes.

4. T-shirts and pants.



Christelle

robbiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee

1:21pmRobert

HI CHRISTELLE

1:22pmChristelle

robbie can you do some reviewing?

1:22pmRobert

ON WOT

1:23pmChristelle

Luke and Wyatt?

1:26pmRobert

LUKE AND WYATT.IT WOS AWSOME NIGHT

1:26pmChristelle

what was your favourite song?

1:29pmRobert

MY FAVOURITE WOS PEAOTO

1:30pmChristelle

the song about Potatoes?

you are really good at singing along with that one

1:32pmRobert

THAT IS MY FAVOURITE SONG

1:33pmChristelle

And what about when you yelled at them

1:36pmRobert

IT WOS FUNNY WEN THARE DOING IT

1:40pmChristelle

monkey!

1:44pmRobert

I THINK THAT THERE SOULD GET ME UP THERE WITH THEM

1:46pmChristelle

really...

what would you wear?

1:49pmRobert

T.SHRT PANS

1:50pmChristelle

not a costume like Glen?

1:52pmRobert

CAN I THINK ABOUT IT AND I LET YOU NO OK

1:53pmChristelle

sure, no problem

ROBBIE REVIEWS HIMSELF

So, as mentioned in the previous post, Robbie recently spent the weekend away at a beach house with a bunch of friends, drinking Jim Beam, eating icecream and hiding under the house.

It was also a good opportunity to watch some DVDs and old movies. In this review, Robbie gives a modest analysis of his own performance in a short film and then covers a couple of dangerously weird pornographic movies that transfixed everyone for a good hour or so.

Most importantly the weekend offered him a rare chance to develop a new catchphrase. We know you're dying to hear it but Robbie is so proud of this catchphrase that he won't reveal it until after June 17th.

You'll have to wait.

Christelle

robbie!

1:40pmRobert

YES

1:40pmChristelle

do you remember some of the movies we watched on the weekend?

1:42pmRobert

WICH MOVE ARE YOU SAY

1:44pmChristelle

well we watched a few didn't we?

there was one that you were in?

1:45pmRobert

YOU SAY THAT MOVE I WOS IN

1:45pmChristelle

yup and what did you do in it?

1:48pmRobert

I WOS AWSOME IN IT

1:48pmChristelle

yes you were

and we watched some home movies didn't we?

1:49pmRobert

BUT I WOS NOT IN IT

1:50pmChristelle

no, sadly you weren't

and we watched a movie about a dog?

1:52pmRobert

I DOT THINK WE DO IT BECOS

1:56pmChristelle

because why?

2:36pmChristelle

Robbie!

2:37pmRobert

YES CHRISTELLE

2:39pmChristelle

what did you think of the dog mvoie?

2:41pmRobert

IT WOS OK

2:43pmChristelle

wasn't it a bit weird????

2:44pmRobert

YES IT WOS BIT GROSE

2:44pmChristelle

I agree

that poor dog

2:46pmChristelle

and then we watched that weird movie about the man with a vagina

2:47pmRobert

I THINK GLENN WOS OUT OF HEIS MIDE

2:48pmChristelle

I agree

you know, a lot of people were asking when you were going to start reviewing again

so they'll be happy to see some action

2:49pmRobert

IT THINKING THAT WE SOULD

SEE MORE AWSOME MOVES

2:50pmChristelle

that's probably a good idea

instead of seeing weird creepy pornographic ones

2:52pmRobert

I WOS THINKING ABOUT MOVES WITH AWSOME ACSINGS

2:52pmChristelle

like what?

2:56pmRobert

LIKE YOU SAID ON THE WEEEND WEN EVANS BIRTHDAY COMES UP THEN WE WELL TALK ABOUT IT THEN OK

2:57pmChristelle

ok, that seems sensible

Let's talk about after June 17th

Do you want to tell everyone the funny story about your new catchphrase?

2:59pmRobert

OK LET DO IT ON THE DAY

2:59pmChristelle

okay, sounds good!

it's best to keep catchphrases as a surprise

3:02pmRobert

YES SOUND LIKE A GOOD IDEAR

SO MANY ACTIVITIES.... WHAT TO REVIEW FIRST?

Robbie has been absent for more than a month now. It is not because he is lazy and unappreciative of his fans- it is because between Box Hill Tafe and attending social enagements every night of the week, Robbie has barely enough time for sleeping (which he does upright, arms crossed, like a vampire), let alone formulating valuable opinions on the Arts.

There were also some issues with his laptop (surprisingly NOT caused by viewing 'adult' content). So this review has a lot to cover- thankfully Robbie is happy to squeeze the last 6 weeks of concerts, parties, comedy and laptop shopping all into one review.

Christelle

robbie!

i haven't seen you in such a long time

6:36pmRobert

hollowo christelle gold pland was awsome

6:38pmRobert

glens party wos awsome

6:39pmChristelle

hang on Robbie- are you giving me reviews?

and why are you using lower case letters?

6:41pmRobert

YES I AM

6:41pmChristelle

so lets start from the beginning:

What about your trip to Tasmania?

6:42pmRobert

IT WOS AWSOME

6:42pmChristelle

And then: Golden Plains

6:45pmRobert

IT WOS GOOD TIMES THE PIKING FRMINGOS WOS AWSOME

6:46pmChristelle

which was your favourite band?

6:47pmRobert

ALLOFTHERM

6:48pmChristelle

and how about that weather?

6:58pmRobert

IT WOS SHITE WEATHER

6:59pmRobert

TOM GREEN WOS AWSOME

9:34pmChristelle

do you want to review glen's party now or tomorrow?

9:35pmRobert

OK

9:36pmRobert

GIRLS AMYS IT WOS GOOD

9:38pmRobert

IT WOS FUN AND GRANT NIGHT

9:40pmRobert

I GOT A NEW THING

9:42pmRobert

IT A SOMETHING TO DOW WITH TIPING

9:57pmChristelle

what is it?

10:02pmRobert

IT START WITH L A P

10:02pmChristelle

Lapdancer?

10:05pmRobert

YOU WISH

IT IS A NEW LAP T

10:06pmChristelle

LAP TOP!

10:07pmRobert

YOU ARE A WINARE

YES IT IS A NEW LAPTOP
IT IS A TOSHIBA
I GOT IT FROM JB HIFI

10:11pmRobert

HAY CHRISTELLE DIDE YOU SEE HOW PHOTO OF US

I THINK IT IS COOL

10:12pmChristelle

when the shark was eating my leg?

We are super cool, like models, but with better curves

10:13pmRobert

YES IT IS SUPER COOL

Christelle

so finally, what is the most exciting thing that has happened to you lately?

10:20pmRobert

ME AND MIKE WE WET TO VIST TO SEE HOW MUM

FOR EASTER

10:21pmChristelle

and you got chocolate?

10:22pmRobert

YES WE DIED